Ministering to the Music Minister

August 13 2007

LEADERSHIP TOOLS

Hugh Ballou, Editor

WELCOME

This is the first in the series of Leadership Tools as a part of the legendary Monday Morning Email, started by Bob Burroughs, over ten years ago. I am honored to be a part of this legend and also honored to be a part of the future vision supporting those in church ministries. Even though this newsletter has been focused on music ministry, the themes of the past and certainly the subjects for future editions are helpful to all those serving God in church ministries whether in the local congregation, area judicatory, international ministry, or in the foreign missions. Those whom God has called into ministry are not exempt to the everyday challenges of leadership.

Over the next months and years the subjects covered will address the following areas:

•    Transformational Leadership Tools
•    Tools for Leading Teams
•    Conflict Management Tools
•    Personal Care Tools
•    Planning Tools

This Leadership Tools edition of Monday Morning Email will be presented the follow format:

        Foundations
             Preparing yourself for leadership

Relationships
      Strengthening the connections with people we serve

Systems
     Developing and maintaining healthy systems for leading groups

Balance
       Strategies for spiritual, physical and mental centering

Quotes
       Words of wisdom and encouragement

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FOUNDATIONS
 

In a presentation given by Dr. Elizabeth Lolly at the 1996 Ohio Literacy Resource Center Leadership Institute, she outlined those traits as follows:

 1.    Let Go of Things They Can Do
 2.    Encourage Initiative, Ideas, Risk Taking
 3.    Define Clear Goals, Give Full Support
 4.    Delegate
 5.    Coach
 6.    Affirm Good Work
 7.    Share Knowledge
 8.    Respect Each Person
 9.    Provide Support (Don’t Take Over)
10.   Practice What You Preach!

Those traits are self-explanatory. The key difference from being a servant leader is that the Transformational Leader is out in front as cheerleader, mentor and enabler while the servant leader works from behind the scenes. The Charismatic leader brings all the attention to himself and it’s all about him. With Transformational Leadership it is about the vision, not the leader.
There are other leadership styles with specific traits for each. For leaders seeking to transform organizations or systems this is an effective leadership model to follow. It is imperative that the leader model what they teach and most especially lead ethically.

The Transformational Leader must have high moral standards to succeed. In John Maxwell’s The Five Levels of Leadership: Why People Follow Other People, he describes leadership styles as follows:

5. POSITION (Title) “Rights”: People follow because the have to
4. PERMISSION “Relationships”: People follow because they want to
3. PRODUCTION “Results”: People follow because of what you have done for the organization
2. PEOPLE DEVELOPMENT “Reproduction”: People follow because of what you have done for them personally
1. PERSONHOOD “Respect”: People follow you because of who you are and what you represent.

The Transformational Leader governs decisions not by power of position, but by personal rapport and influence. This leader holds veto power, but because of clear direction and strong relational ties, that veto power may never be used.

Effective Transformational Leaders build great teams. More information on Transformational Leadership at http://www.leaderstransform.com

Hugh Ballou is founder of SynerVision International, Inc., a facilitation, consulting and training practice in Blacksburg, Virginia. For many years Hugh has been working with leaders in businesses, schools, churches, non-profit organizations and community groups, leading project teams to find consensus, even with very difficult decisions. Before his full-time work as facilitator, consultant and executive coach, he served as Director of Worship Ministries, staff strategist and facilitator in churches up to 12,000 members.

In addition to managing project teams as a neutral facilitator, Hugh is also skilled in leading workshops, retreats and seminars on planning, reorganization and goal setting. Hugh has served in leadership roles as a business owner and chamber of commerce president, as a church musician, worship planner and worship leader in various church settings.  He has had extensive experience in conflict management, staff relations, multiple staff dynamics, business plans, financial planning and budgeting, complex schedule issues, evaluations of programs and staff performance as well as goal setting.

Organizations in conflict and those desiring to move effectiveness to the next level are candidates for Hugh’s services. In his major work with many diverse types of organizations, Hugh teaches teams how to build competencies and accountabilities into group process through reaching consensus. Hugh’s passion is to make a difference in people’s lives by teaching relational strategies resulting in a community of teamwork with unity of purpose. His web site is http://www.synervisioninternational.com

Every leader, in their lifetime, will have the opportunity to experience difficult times. Periods when the perfect plan fails, the key people you counted on let you down, times when you become the blame for everything that goes wrong or when the passion you had for your position simply becomes a chore. It is during this period that you must motivate, encourage and influence others to a higher level and at the same time keep yourself motivated. It is one of the hardest times a leader can go through. In fact, many get stuck in this valley and can’t find their way out (oppression and/or depression occurs). Your goal is to recognize that these times will occur and determine (in advance) your plan to get through these tough times.

Thank God for His Word, as Christian business leaders we have an example and an answer to every situation we face. In this case, we can use three major leaders in the Bible (Moses, David and Jesus) and discover how they encouraged themselves during hard times.


CRY OUT TO GOD
Let’s begin with Moses. He was the leader, the CEO, of the children of Israel during their exodus from Egypt. Many believe that there were millions of men, women and children leaving Egypt with him. After seeing God perform miraculous signs through Moses, we would like to believe they would have followed him anywhere without question and yet we read over and over again their complaints against Moses. For example, in Exodus, we find this account: “Wherefore the people did complain to Moses, and said, Give us water that we may drink. And Moses said unto them, Why are you complaining to me? Why do ye tempt the LORD? And the people thirsted there for water; and the people murmured against Moses, and said, Wherefore is this that thou hast brought us up out of Egypt, to kill us and our children and our cattle with thirst?” (Exodus 17:2-3).  

The next verse goes onto say: “And Moses cried unto the LORD, saying, What shall I do unto this people, they are almost ready to stone me”.  Of course, this is extreme -- very few of us work in an environment where our employees will stone us to death; however constant complaining to you and about you may feel like being stoned. There are those times when our team members are constantly murmuring and complaining against us, or the company, or the lack of benefits and/or not having enough time, people or money to get the job done. What do you do when the murmuring and complaining is too much? What did Moses do? His reply is the first key to motivating yourself: call out to God and ask Him for help.

That is one of the greatest tools that we as Christian leaders have, a Father who listens when we cry out to Him and helps us. We can not be so proud that we refuse to call upon the most High God for help. He promises over and over again, that if we call upon Him, He hears us. Like Moses, there will be some questions which you can not answer and problems you can not solve without God’s intervention.  Ask Him for help and watch Him provide the answer.

OBTAIN ASSISTANCE
If we continue on with this account, we find Moses, Aaron and Hur on the mountain top looking down at the battle between the Israelites and the Amalekites. When Moses held up the rod of God in his hands, the Israelites prevailed in battle and as Moses grew tired and his hands begin to fall the Amalekites prevailed. We find Aaron and Hur (one on each side) holding his hands steady until the end of the day. The second key in keeping motivated is allowing others to hold you up during this hard time. Your Holy of Holies team can hold you up in prayer before God and your leadership team (your Inner Court) can take on and complete some key tasks within your area. As a side note, by allowing your leadership team to take on key responsibilities you will also increase their motivation.

ENCOURAGE YOURSELF
You’ve done the first and second key and now what? Let’s look at David, a man after God’s own heart as our second example. My Pastor directed the congregation to this scripture: “and David was greatly distressed; for the people spoke of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God (1 Samuel 30:6). The third key in keeping yourself motivated in troubled times is to encourage yourself. Learn to spend at least five minutes a day encouraging yourself. When I was in the military it was common for many of officers to have an “I Love Me” wall. Somewhere in the office, we would have the awards, pictures of medals being pinned on, letters from commanding officers and even plaques from our troops to remind us of the great things we had accomplished throughout our career. On your hardest days, you need a place to look and mentally see all the lives, activities, projects and companies which have been enhanced, simply because you were there. Don’t get lost in these memories but don’t forget them…use them to encourage yourself.  Also, take the time to recall what God says about you! He said, and because we serve a living God, He continues to say great things about you! RIGHT NOW … identify three ways in which you can encourage yourself!

TRUST GOD IN EVERYTHING                      
The next key is found by trusting God’s will for our lives. Sometimes it gets so heavy for leaders (Christian and non-Christians) that we find it too hard to encourage ourselves. We honestly don’t know what to do or how to get through a really tough time. An example of this is the Great Depression which occurred in the United States. In studying the history, we can find business leaders who were so distraught that they ended up jumping out of windows to their death because they had lost all hope. This is the hardest place, mentally and spiritually, for a leader to be: when nothing you do can change what’s occurred or what’s about to happen.  This is the time to say to God, as Jesus did, “Father if possible, let this pass from me; but nevertheless, Your will, not my will be done”. I can only imagine the agony Jesus felt while he was in Gethsemane, knowing that what was going to occur over the next days had to occur. I don’t believe He was looking forward to the pain, the humiliation or to being abandoned by all He loved. Yet, He knew He had to go through this to get to the other side – for our salvation. He did something that many of us (including myself) don’t enjoy … He endured. He trusted that what God had promised would be accomplished through Him. He stayed focused on the end pictured and trusted God’s will for His life.

So, what can you do when you’re experiencing the rough side of the mountain?

• Cry out to God and ask Him for help!
• Be open with your family, friends and team members and allow them to help you.
• Encourage yourself
• Trust God

Leaders know that there will be hard times where they will need to stay motivated in order to move to the next level. Having tools in your toolkit before you need them will be a key to your success!


Stephanie A. Parson, Ph.D. has over 20 years of executive experience in Fortune 500 companies (public and private sector), she focuses on bringing leaders and their organizations to an Extraordinary Level of Results. She is the founder of the Leadership: From Ordinary to Extraordinay™ workshops. For more information about this workshop and other services, please go to: www.crownedgrace.com  or call us at 321.251.5236. Dr. Stephanie Parson can be reached at saparson@crownedgrace.com.

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RELATIONSHIPS

If you are in the music program of your church sooner or later – it most likely sooner – you will get some kind of critical feedback about the music, your behavior, your attitude or a dozen other things that can go wrong.
For the past 25 years I have been teaching church leaders how to manage conflict and not get bent out of shape doing it. This brief article will give you some steps to take.

When some one approaches you and asked for some time, or they just say it on the spot the first thing to do is listen in detail to the criticism. This is done through a set of skills called Negative Inquiry. Namely, you inquire – you invite the person to tell you more - about the concerns that they have. Now I know you don’t what to do this. You most likely don’t what to get what you are already hearing let alone asking for more. But that is what makes this skill so powerful. You are to coach the person to name everything they can about what they don’t like. My attitude is to coach the person dry.  So here are two powerful behaviors I suggest you do.

When (for example) the person says, “I sure don’t like the kind of music you are singing.  It hurts my ears.” Ask, “What is there particularly about the music that seems to up set you?” “They sing to loud and I don’t understand the words.” Now paraphrase what you heard back.  “So you are saying that it is difficult to understand the words and we are so loud that it hurts your ears.” “Yea, you got it.” Now comes the important part.  This is the coaching – “Is there anything else about the music that bothers you.  I want to hear all that you have to tell me so I can consider what I might want to do to make some changes.” The person will find themselves struggling to go on.

a.    What has just happened is that you are not on the defensive.  You are in control of the information you are getting.  If you get defensive it will help to escalate the conflict.

b.    When you have finished listening and the person seems to have run out of what they want to say you can then add.  “Would you be open to hearing my side of these issues or do you want me to just think about it?”
In back of all conflicted behavior is deep person pain.  If you listen deeply enough, you will realize that the critical comments are cries for help about much deeper issues in the persons’ life.

There is no such thing as criticism only feedback.  If you realize that the messages you are getting are coming from inside the other and they are not in you then you do not have to get on the defensive.  Give it a try.

Dr. John S. Savage is a member of The Kilgore Group, an international group of consultants and trainers, is a lecturer, trainer, consultant, author, and pastor. He a certified Minister of Music and holds a degree in music from Syracuse University School of Music. As a consultant to many organizations, he works in the areas of educational designing, problem solving, conflict management, team building, and leadership development.  He has designed special training events in the fields of Spiritual Intelligence, How to Manage Transitions, and The Tenacious Dreamer. He has instructed courses at Princeton Theological Seminary, Seabury-Western Theological Seminary, Toronto School of Theology, and other educational institutions. You can find more about Dr. Savage at www.thekilgoregroup.com .

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CHOIRFEST 2008

  April 3-6, 2008 seems like a long time from now! Really! There is summer, and Fall, and Christmas and Easter 2008. Why should I think about a 2008 Choir Festival?

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Effective Systems for Leading Teams:
Designs for Productive Meetings
By Hugh Ballou

One major killer of team enthusiasm is boring, unproductive meetings. Here are Hugh's Ten Tips for Power-Packed Meetings:

1. Purpose - Clearly state the pupose (or purposes) of the meeting. If there is no pupose, then don't hold a meeting! TIP: Team members are rarely upset when they get extra time in their schedule if there's not a meeting.
2. Plan - Plan for success you will plan for failure. To accomplish something worthy with your team, then plan what you want to end up with and how you wil get there. TIP: Don't fill the whole time with your plan. Only plan to use 65% of the time allotted. It will take longer that you think to get the results you want.
3. Lead - Identify who will run the meeting. If it's not your gift to run meetings, then recruit a team member who is capable. Decide on the ourcomes of each meeting and then lead. TIP: Instead of using an AGENDA, try defining outcomes for the meeting instead. Don't spend time doing. Spend time accomplishing!
   
4. Begin - Begin on time! Honor the people who arrived on time and are ready to go. TIP: Always being at the stated time. Team members will understand that you mean what you say and be there when it's time.
   
5. Participate - Allow each team member to participate in the discussions and in shaping the decisions. If someone has been invited to be on the team, then honor their commitment. TIP: Identify the role for each team member and communicate the roles to the whole team.
   
6. Guidelines - Establish guidelines for process, both normal process and process when things are out of balance. TIP: If the team develops thier own operational guildelines, then these rules will be followed more willingly.
   
7. Record - Record the results of the meeting where all can see. Record brainstorming data exactly as it is stated. TIP:  Send the notes to all team members after the meeting - they will all have the same notes and can all participate in the discussions.
   
8. Review - The process for the entire session. TIP: If the group understands the process, they can help stay on track.
   
9. Control - Always stay in control of the meeting. If someone takes the meeting hostage by going off on a tangent, bring the discussion back to the stated focus of the discussion. TIP: Everyone else will love you for keeping the session focused and the person you have to reign in won't mind as much if you speak kindly and smile.
   
10. Assignments - Do not adjourn the meeting without assigning tasks and giving each assignment a timeline for completion. Great ideas are no good if no one is going to see that they get done. TIP: Keep your name off this list if at all possible. If you are the leader, then you have to keep time to follow-up on items that are delegated.

More information on Conduction Power-Packed Meetings at: http://www.leaderstransform.com/products.htm.

Building Collaborative Competence:
Creating Agreements for Results
By Stewart Levine

It is much easier not to exercise or brush your teeth in the morning. It is much simpler just to get on with your day. Although stopping to form an agreement before moving forward with a collaboration is much more tedious than moving into action immediately. That is much more likely to lead to conflict, and is less likely produce the results you desire.

 

It’s the difference between

Ready…Fire…Aim

and

Ready… Aim… Fire

The later is much more effective because it provides clear direction before action. This is true for all collaborative activities - teams, professional relationships, sales transactions, customer service, and implementing marketing activities.  

When introducing the concept of Agreements for Results to an audience, I think of the tag line from an old Quaker State Motor Oil commercial - You can pay me now, or you can pay me later. That line holds true when thinking about agreements. Most people never think about investing the time to make explicit the implicit agreement they believe they have at the beginning of a new personal or professional relationship, team, or project. They’re off and running, everyone with their own vision of the destination, and how to get there, without the clarity necessary to minimize the potential for conflict. Like the Quaker State warning of engine damage if you don’t do the preventative maintenance of changing your oil, they will incur the cost of inevitable conflict, a cost that can be prevented.      

When we think about the idea of having an agreement we usually think about long legal documents, lots of “what ifs” and how we can protect ourselves from something we do not want to happen. We would all be better off if when beginning a new endeavor we could shift our focus to a vision of results you want to produce, not the calamities you want to avoid.  

The following Ten Essential Elements make up the template of items that are elementary items to be discussed if you want to create a vision and a map to getting the results you want. Following that I compare the mindset of an “Agreements for Results”perspective, with the traditional “Agreements for Protection” mental model. Please note the difference. Which one do you think is more effective?

The essence of "Agreement for Results" is that we get into conflict because we never learned how to craft explicit agreements that create a meeting of mind and heart with people we want to collaborate with in personal or professional relationships. The best way to prevent conflict and to have more productive and satisfying relationships with others is to have "agreements for results" on the front end. The 10 Essential Elements are:

1. INTENT & VISION - Big picture of what you want. The clearer and more specific the desired outcomes, the more likely you will succeed as visualized.

2. ROLES  - The duties, responsibilities, and commitment of everyone you need  to achieve the desired results.

3. PROMISES  - Promises of action steps. Specific commitments tell you if the actions will get you to the desired results, and the actions are missing.

4. TIME / VALUE - All promises have "by whens" and the time the agreement will be effective. Is the exchange fair and does it provide enough incentive.

5. MEASUREMENTS OF SATISFACTION - The evidence you achieved your objectives must be clear, direct, and measurable to eliminates conflict about
weather you accomplished what you began.

6. CONCERNS AND FEARS - Unspoken difficulties need to be expressed and the fear behind them addressed. This deepens understanding of what you are taking on, and the partnership you are creating with yourself.

7. RENEGOTIATION - No matter how optimistic and clear it will become necessary to renegotiate promises and conditions of satisfaction because
things change. The quality of working relationships is more important than anything.

8. CONSEQUENCES - Know the consequences for breaking promises, and what will be lost if the project is not completed.

9. CONFLICT RESOLUTION - Conflicts and disagreements will arise. Agree to an "attitude of resolution," and an agreed resolution  process.

10. AGREEMENT ?  - When you have reflected on 1-9 ask whether you "trust" moving forward.  Do not move into action unless and until you can say YES and commit to embrace the future as an  opportunity to be enjoyed.

The model draws out both the vision, and the road map to it. It provides a path to what you want to accomplish.  Making an agreement with your client
is an excellent way of framing the relationship!

                                          

                                RESULTS vs. PROTECTION COMPARED

                                                                                            

                                                                  RESULTS                                   PROTECTION
                                                                     FOCUS                                         FOCUS

INTENT & VISION:      desired outcome                        “what ifs?”

ROLES:                     take responsibility                  limit accountability

PROMISES:               commitment                     qualifiers and conditioners

TIME & VALUE:          by when’s / fair return                most for least

MEASUREMENTS OF                       

SATISFACTION:         inspiring goals                        excuses and escapes

CONCERNS AND FEARS: compassion/understanding         edge for                                                                                           strategic advantage

RENEGOTIATION:    deal with unknowns / changes       strike hard bargain  

CONSEQUENCES:       reminder of promises                       punishment

CONFLICT RESOLUTION: get back on track                  exact some premium

AGREEMENT ?:               trust enough                           escape possible?

                                     

CONCLUSION

     Agreements are a fundamental life skill we never learned when we were young. It is the primary building block for all kinds of collaborations, and working with others is the only way results, productivity and satisfying relationship happen. Try having a dialogue that incorporates the elements at the beginning of your next collaborative project. I guarantee that from then on you will become an advocate for “Agreements for Results” in all your endeavors.   

Stewart Levine is the founder of ResolutionWorks, a consulting, training and mediation Organization. He is the author of “The Book of Agreement” and “Getting to Resolution.” He spent ten years practicing law before becoming an award winning marketing executive at AT&T where he was recognized as a pioneer "intrapreneur. “ "Getting to Resolution: Turning Conflict into Collaboration” (Berrett-Koehler 1998) was an Executive Book Club Selection; Featured by Executive Book Summaries; named one of the 30 Best Business Books of1998; endorsed by Dr. Stephen Covey and featured in "The Futurist" magazine. “The Book of Agreement”  has been endorsed by thought leaders including Geoff Bellman; Robert Fritz; Bev Kaye; Jim Kouzes; and Harrison Owen. The book has been called more practical than the classic "Getting to Yes"and named among the Best of 2004 by CEO Refresher www.refresher.com  Information: www.ResolutionWorks.org.

 

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BALANCE

In the old hymn, we read these words: I come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses...and the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known. We have lost the art of knowing how to tarry.
Webster defines the word, tarry:

• to delay
• to linger
• to stay for a time
• reluctance to leave

The English poet, Robert Brooke, who celebrated quiet joys, spoke of those few lucky souls who could store up reservoirs of calm and content--and draw on them at later moments when the source isn’t there, but the need is very great.

In days of old, as women gathered in homes to quilt and visit, did they draw strength and contentment from each other’s presence, I suspect after a day of quilting, they lingered...reluctant to leave...yet knowing they took with them shared joy and contentment in friendship that would carry them until the next quilting party...all the while working to care for family.

Tending your treasure (your soul) may be the hardest part of taking care of yourself as a leader of women. Women tend to be nurturing and care giving.  That often leads to taking care of everyone else...home, work, and ministry before self. For this very reason, we must have time for personal nurturing, out of which we can nurture.

Do they sense in yourself hurry; hurry...never quite feeling finished? Have you noticed in the gathering of women when someone shares news good or tragic, often the response is...O my soul, and women clutch their hearts reaching to the depths of their being, making their words a prayer. In life, we draw deep into our souls from our tarrying time for strength in celebration and sorrow.

Today, take 15 minutes to be still…that will be very heard. Ponder Mark 6:31. In stillness, we hear the Fathers voice. Listen for the still small voice. More next issue.

Esther Burroughs is founder of Esther Burroughs Ministries: Treasures of the Heart, and is the beloved author of Engraved by Grace, Splash the Living Water, Treasures of a Grandmother’s Heart, A Garden Path to Mentoring and Empowered. She has addressed tens of thousands of women from small group retreats to arena events, and understands the thirst of today’s Christian woman for intimacy with God. Esther previously served with the Southern Baptist Home Mission Board (now North American Mission Board) promoting strategies of evangelism for women. She travels extensively throughout the U.S. and Canada speaking to women’s groups. Esther and Bob, her husband of 47 years, reside in South Carolina. They have two adult children and five grandchildren. Web site: http://www.estherbministries.com

QUOTES

Few things can help an individual more than to place responsibility on him, and to let him know that you trust him.
- Booker T. Washington

Let us not be content to wait and see what will happen, but give us the determination to make the right things happen.
- Peter Marshall

One never notices what has been done; one can only see what remains to be done.
- Marie Curie

Act as if it were impossible to fail.
- Dorothea Brande