May 19 2008

4 Important Ways to Be Yourself in Leadership Posted 3 years 364 days ago ago by Doug Lawrence     0 Comments

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Here are four important things to do when you are giving leadership...

1. Up in Front of Folks, Be Yourself...only a little bigger than life!

Giving leadership in front of people is a delicate balance between showing off and appearing perfectly natural. Here’s the thing, if you’re standing in front of people, you must find a way to be a little bigger than life. Who’s going to pay attention to someone if (in the moment) you’re exactly like them. You must demand attention in order to get attention. Are you funnier than they are, bigger than they are, more sincere than they are, more knowledgeable than they are? What? There is no question that leadership requires you to get noticed by the people you’re leading. Here are some tips…

• Stand a little taller, with your sternum raised as high as you can get it, but unforced.
• Smile, or at least appear to be friendly.
• Focus on the task, even when you’re leading worship. Don’t appear to be passive or disinterested.
• Open your face to the people by looking out or up, not down and out. ☺
• Be who you are at your most gregarious. Nobody wants to go looking for you when you’re “onstage.”
• Make sure (if you can) that some light is shining on your face…your face is 90% of what you’ve really got to work with when leading.
• Dress within the culture you find yourself in, but always look like you expected to end up being front and center.
• Speak louder then you would in normal conversation. It’s not offensive, it just says you want to be heard. This is true with or without a microphone.
• Don’t move around quickly—stay put—make people’s eyes come to you. That doesn’t mean you can never move, you just have to give people a chance to focus.
• Don’t demand or beg—invite!
• Don’t speak unless you have something to say. It’s annoying to folks when they know you’re just stalling until you figure out how to move your capo or find the page in your music.
• Do be positive.
• Do be genuine.
• Do be real. You could actually say you can’t find the page or get your capo to move. People like to be in on your thought process. It makes you seem human.
• Be humble, even when you’re in charge.
• Fight the temptation to appear to know a lot more than the people you’re leading. It may be true, but you’ll lose in the long run by trying to be more spiritual, smarter, or more musical. When you’re in front, it’s always about the people you’re leading, not you.

If it seems that there are contradictions in these suggestions, you got it! Leadership is a fine balance between taking the platform and yielding the platform. Your job is to have a finely calibrated barometer reading of what’s happening in the room. The biggest mistake a leader can make is to assume he/she is leading, when, in fact, nobody’s following.

2. In a Meeting, Be Yourself...but don't be a bully

It’s hard to sit in a meeting where you think you know all the answers, even if you actually do...know all the answers, that is. The purpose of a meeting is to gather consensus around a certain topic or topics. Your job (even if it’s your meeting) is to let the flow of conversation move toward commonly held values and perceptions. Contrary to what you may believe, you are more of a facilitator than a guru when you lead a meeting. Here are some tips…

• The conclusions or product of a meeting should be considered by everyone before the dialogue begins in earnest. The leader gives clear leadership to the objectives.
• The “presence” of a leader gives witness to the “tone” of the meeting. If you’re scattered and anxious, others will follow you into that abyss. If you are calm and thoughtful, others will understand that’s their job too.
• The conclusions drawn should never sound like they are exclusively yours or “what you had in mind from the beginning.” To leave that impression would also suggest that there was never a reason to even have the meeting.
• Your job is to give people a hope and a future (sound familiar?). If I attend a meeting, I want to see the conclusion as having made a difference for the better.
• Try to limit your input into the conversation.
• Break up “fights” with sentences like, “I can see we have some strong opinions on both sides of this issue. What does it seem are our common opinions?” Then let the common move toward resolution.
• Don’t “wrestle” or “struggle” with difficult issues—embrace them as a sign of real work getting done by people of good will.

A meeting is a place where democracy is the primary value, but the conclusion may be marginally totalitarian. Your job is to secure the notion that the outcome was the former!

We should always be aware that when we are alone, we’re still leading. Who we are when we’re alone is the building material of our leadership—this is about our character. Dallas Willard says, “If you don't have a teacher you can't have a disciple.” When you’re alone, you’re alone with GOD! It is awesome to think that as busy as God is, he’s never too busy to be alone with you and be your teacher. What He teaches you becomes the heart of how you lead others. Here are some tips…

• Be alone once in a while on purpose.
• Give yourself the sweetness of being out of touch with others and in touch with God.
• Forsake your addictions. Alone time is the time we set aside to either cover our tracks and address the solution to our shadow side. Use alone time to deny the destructive behaviors that hinder your leadership. Use it to further your skill as a mentor by being mentored in the presence of holiness.
• Give yourself a break…from hurry, from being in charge, from being “on,” from being adequate, from being better than those against whom you compete.

Conclusion

"Get over yourself,” is good advice to start your day! Good leaders take themselves with a grain of salt. The old Irish proverb applies here—“Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.” You don’t have all the answers and you don’t need all the answers to lead. You only need to be full of grace and abounding in love for those whom God has placed in your path to lead. Leadership is not for giants, it’s for people who, by virtue of their inadequacy, help others to achieve at their best!

Doug Lawrence, internationally recognized speaker, author, and advisor, helps churches assess and improve their skillfulness in creating engaging worship experiences by utilizing his more than 35 years of "deep trench" worship leadership in prominent mainline churches. has been a consultant to church leaders for 35 years and is anxious to be helpful to you in leadership, musical, and staffing considerations. Or, if you wish, call 650.207.8240 for assessment information and scheduling.

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