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Ministering to
Leaders of Worship
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September 17,
2007 |
PROFESSIONAL TOOLS
Doug Lawrence
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Quote Go to this website and see if you resonate with author Brian McLaren http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPRKCmYuCWA It's well worth the watch! This video has nothing to do with this week's MME, but everything to do with our view of what worship is, and isn't. I just had to share it with you today, before I forgot it. Now, you can read on...
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Scripture "For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked, they have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong."—Psalm 73:3-4
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Prayer "Lord, we do the best we can—at least we think so. Humble us to see ourselves and our ministry through your eyes. Keep us from envy and the pitfall of endlessly admiring the plans of others. Help us to stay with you as we work to implement our worship. Keep us from falling into neatly arranged traps of self-deceit and arrogance. You are God and we are not. Thank heaven. Thank you! Amen"
Response from last month:
Thank you for the many helpful and thoughtful comments on last month's MME. Most found it very helpful and that feels good. One reader was against it, and that is to be expected. It's not easy to discuss authority, let alone be under it! But, we all are, and it's good to get perspective. Hope this month's offering is equally helpful and challenging. —Doug Lawrence, Editor
Attitudes of the professional church musician:
Four ways to get along with colleagues
you wouldn’t have as friends
1. Peel back as many layers as you can before judging
"I've never met a man I didn't like," was a favorite saying of humorist Will Rogers. I might have said "I've never met a person that God didn't love"—because that's the nature of God, but it certainly hasn't been mine. I struggle like everyone else to accept those who are unlovely, unruly, ungrateful, and less than pleasant. You know who you are! 
In fact, I'm one of those people—unlovely, unpleasant, self-centered, and often inconsiderate. I'm human, and often demonstrate that fact with incredible clarity. It is by grace that any of us are acceptable at all.
How then can we begin the process of loving those we work with when they do unlovely things?
John Burroughs said, "I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see."
The truth is it takes time to live and be in friendship. This is time you probably don't have and time you'll have to sacrifice in order to reach the friendship goal!
These are tried and true steps to making a friend out of someone you can't imagine in that role. Follow them and enrich your life and your workplace.
• Take one 1/2 hour for coffee or a walk with a person who's driving you nuts—just do it!
• Talk about anything but work.
• Peel back the content of the conversation to places you've never gone with that individual. It doesn't have to be intimate information, it just has to be new information.
• Organize your conversation around, schooling, family, and spiritual journey. (It's hard to dislike someone who shares this stuff with you)
From that time on, try to include pieces of that conversation in your daily interaction with these folks. It will take the "fangs" out of your usual discomfort.
2. Find as many points of agreement as possible
It's not hard to find points of disagreement. Some of us feel that it's a mission. G.K. Chesterton said, "A stiff apology is a second insult.The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt." We fumble through relationship and then apologize (sometimes stiffly) for what we said. There's a better way!
Determine what the key points of agreement are between you and the person with whom you're trying to build a relationship, and start every conversation with one of those items. There's always plenty of time for debate, what eats time is affirmation of common points of view—but that's what's most valuable in the long run.
3. Stay the course, relationships are never easy
Work it! Stay on top of the friendship aspect of your relationship with colleagues. Don't think that a single friendly encounter will automatically lead to endless bliss—it just 'taint so." Every relationship needs careful cultivation and it is the job of both parties in that relationship to take turns watering it. You first! It is a violation of basic Christian theology to ignore the work of relationship. Paul started every epistle nurturing the quality of relationship before moving on to any other subject, and so should we. Do the work and reap the rich reward. Take a dinner over when there's illness, touch when speaking comfort, and laugh when the irony of life is overwhelming.
4. DECIDE to make it work
Most of the good that finds its way into our lives comes from a decision to move forward positively. Repentance is based on a decision to move away from something destructive to the One who defines goodness. Therefore, it seems to me, the only way to make a friend out of an EGR person (extra grace required) is to decide you're going to make every attempt to make that happen—then do it!
It should be noted here that not every relationship is going to find resolution. Some find it hard to do this work, and some find it downright impossible. One could easily ask the question, "Do I have to be friends with everyone at work?" The answer is that it's probably not required—it's just more rewarding. Stay the course!
Peace be with you friends,
Doug Lawrence
dlawrenceconsult@mac.com
Doug has been a consultant to church leaders for 35 years and is anxious to be helpful to you in leadership, musical, and staffing considerations. Please email him at the above address. He's available to consult on the phone as well.
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SPONSOR
World Choir Games
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CHOIRFEST 2008
The Huntsville Choral Festival
April 3-8, 2008
First Baptist Church
Huntsville, Alabama
IT IS NOT TOO EARLY to plan on you and some of your best singers to come to ChoirFest 2008 and be inspired and challenged under the direction of Anton Armstrong, the conductor of the famed St. Olaf College Choir, and one of the outstanding conductors of our day.
There are only a very few places left in the 300-Voice Choir for this outstanding event and because of space, no more will be accepted. You can secure full information at this web site: www.choirfest.com
The ChoirFest 2008 organizer, HUGH BALLOU, invites MME readers to hear the CONFERENCE CALL with Anton Armstrong, which took place September 11, 8:00 PM EDT. Go to the ChoirFest home page mentioned above and click HERE to hear this call.
September 17-21 MME specials are up at www.pinelakemusic.com/mme.com -- featuring special MME prices on some nice new choral releases and other music ministry resources--just for MME readers!! We hope you will come visit us this week!
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© 2007 Creator Magazine