4 Things You Must Never Do in Ministry

Posted 4 years 116 days ago ago by Doug Lawrence

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Here are four critical things to never do in your ministry.

1. Either praise or demean your own skills

Here's the problem—we all want to make sure people know what we're capable of doing and we want to protect ourselves from the false expectations people may have for us. Here's what we do to cover our basses:

• Feign incredible modesty

• Brag about our skills

• Make excuses for our failings

Here's the formula for finding a happy balance in your ministry life.

• Be transparent about what you are good at doing. Don't brag about it—rejoice in how God has gifted you. Enjoy what you're good at and don't apologize for what you're not good at doing.

• Rejoice in the help of others to complete your tasks and give them as much credit as you possibly can. Your gratitude to them leads others to be grateful for you!

• Talk about your victories and accomplishments with a winsome acknowledgement of God's blessings in your life. The truth is, He created you, and He creates your triumphs.

2. Say you're unwilling to do something

It's certainly alright to say, "I'm not sure I am gifted in a way that would be useful in this project." But, we should never say, "I don't have time to help you with this project." There is a sense in which we all have to assert our boundaries so that we don't become so overwhelmed with work that we can't get our position description accomplished. Still, when faced with the opportunity to collaborate with a colleague, even at our own inconvenience, there is the potential for future relationships that are both productive and satisfying.

3. Fight on every bridge

So, you're going to win some, and lose some. If it's important to you to win every time you go into "battle" over some issue or another at your church, you're going to be very disappointed with the result. "Choose your fights" is an old expression, but, oh, such good advice. Here are some questions to think about before you fight.

• Is this about my pride?

• Will I lose more than I gain by getting into this?

• Have I really spent time praying about my motives for going into this debate?

• Does my not fighting on this bridge put my character in jeopardy?

4. Fail to buy into the culture of your church

I'm always saddened when a colleague calls to tell me they are unhappy with their pastor. Why, after all, are they surprised when there is a disagreement in the third or fourth year of their serving together? Either you understand what you're getting into before taking a position, or you find yourself in a battle later. Pastors have the same problem with their lay leadership if they ignore the culture they encounter when coming to a new assignment. Here are some questions to consider when you take a new job.

• What are the hidden expectations of the search committee, the pastor, the church?

• Is this a culture I will ever understand?

• Am I critical of this culture, or can I find a way to love it?

• What can I learn from this experience? Is it more than I will teach?

The last question is the most important one—always be willing to learn more than you teach. This is what makes great leaders great. Leaders who insist on imposing themselves on a culture that isn't particularly in need of change, shoot themselves in the foot every time. Ya'all listening?

Doug Lawrence, internationally recognized speaker, author, and advisor, helps churches assess and improve their skillfulness in creating engaging worship experiences by utilizing his more than 35 years of "deep trench" worship leadership in prominent mainline churches. has been a consultant to church leaders for 35 years and is anxious to be helpful to you in leadership, musical, and staffing considerations. Or, if you wish, call 650.207.8240 for assessment information and scheduling.